“I don’t know how you do it.”
I get this phrase from people all the time. And honestly, I don’t really like it.
I start to explain my life to people, how I’m working three “jobs” dedicated to social justice, managing 12-16 credits of school, working my way through my Lyme treatment protocol, and navigating through so much oppression from the medical industrial complex and widespread ableism. When I talk about these things, often times, people tend to, well, sort of freak out.
The people who say this to me cannot fathom the life I’m living. They cannot fathom why I’m doing all of the things I do, or the drive I have. They don’t because they haven’t, and may never have to, experience the trauma that I’ve felt. Furthermore, in their attempt at solidarity and acknowledgement of my struggle, these individuals actually alienate me even more.”I don’t know how you do it” makes me feel like a strange creature, a space that is unable to relate to my peers.
But really, I’m no different from you. I also procrastinate. I also binge on Netflix. I also have the problems you have. The only difference is that my experience with problems I face transcended into something bigger and has given me the drive to do something about it.
So don’t tell me that you don’t know how I do it,
Because honestly, I don’t know how I do it either.
This explains so much
Having a pair of Dementors inside me would explain so much, including why my week was so terrible. These dementors are sucking out all the happiness in me and replacing it with despair. For some reason, everything gets awful around and during my period. My stomach becomes super sensitive, I majorly herx, and I get horrible cramps. The last 3 times I went to the ER was during my period.
This month’s period has been no exception. My limbs have been hurting, my arm and leg muscles are sore, and my joints are upset. Luckily, there’s been no ER this time, but I’m still feeling awful. I’m also really thankful for my boyfriend, who is excellent at distracting me from my pain. This morning, we watched videos of adorable baby sloths. Cute baby animals help quite a bit.
But on top of the two dementors hanging out inside me this week, it has been really, really cold here. This morning it was -6° F. I have never experienced this type of cold and I can say with confidence that I don’t like it. At all. My body doesn’t respond well to the cold. If I go outside without gloves, my hands will hurt for the rest of the day. So the extreme cold hasn’t been doing me any favors.
I can’t deny how pretty the snow is though! It’s fluffy and beautiful. I just appreciate it more inside looking out rather than vice versa.
My snowy campus!
Thank goodness for heaters, blankets, and my herxing pills! Hopefully things will get warmer soon.
P.S. How do you all like the new layout?
Last weekend, I wrote a post about the IDSA Lyme guidelines protest in San Francisco. The protest was a very positive event and had lots of cool speakers. This rapper, who goes by Revolt, has Lyme disease and performs across the Bay Area. This is his rap about the Lyme experience. I was completely blown away by his performance! His lyrics really hit home for me! I just thought I’d share the awesomeness with you folks too!