Access Intimacy: The Missing Link

Mia Mingus, queer physically disabled woman of color adoptee, talks about Access Intimacy in this brilliant blog post. I have only had access intimacy once or twice in my life. It’s such a special experience that I can’t let it go.
Have any of you ever experienced access intimacy? What was/is your experience with it?

Best,
Sofia

Leaving Evidence

abstract painting with yellow, purple, pink and red spots.There are many ways to describe intimacy.  For example, there’s physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, intellectual, political, familial or sexual intimacy.  But, as a physically disabled woman, there is another kind of intimacy I have been struggling to name and describe, what I have been calling “access intimacy.”

I have begun using the term loosely and am still realizing different aspects of it.  This is in no way a complete describing of it, instead, this is an initial naming and the beginnings of giving it shape.  I am offering it as something that has been useful for me and I hope is useful to others to describe all different kinds of access, not just in relation to disability.  I think Access, as a framework, is powerful for so many of our lives.  Here, I am speaking from my own lived experience as a physically disabled person but I know access intimacy…

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New Wheelchair!

New Wheelchair!

On Saturday, I got a new wheelchair! It’s a Quickie GT rigid frame ultralight wheelchair with solid wheels. And it’s Lyme green! I LOVE IT.
For the past four years, I’ve been using this crappy Invacare home wheelchair I bought off Craigslist for $50. I’ve used it so much, it’s falling apart. If I go down a slope, the whole chair shudders and almost throws me out. It was time for a change.
I first decided to get a new chair in June. So for six months, I fought and fought through the bureaucracy and misinformation that is my insurance company. Every time I spoke to somebody on how to get this paid for, they told me something different. Nobody knew what they were talking about. Finally, after about 3,849 fights with the insurance company and incompetent medical supply stores, I decided to circumvent that whole process and buy a wheelchair privately.
I scoured and scoured eBay and Craigslist to find one that would be an upgrade from the Invacare I was dealing with. I finally found one that was exactly what I wanted. Even though the seller was difficult, I finally got this baby.
I’m so so so happy with this wheelchair! It’s so light that I can lift it by myself without straining any of my muscles. Today I went Christmas shopping in it and I never got thrown out! It’s amazing. So easy to use!
This wheelchair will make my life so much easier. I’m often limited to the things I can do because of the clunkiness of my chair. This changes everything! I’m excited. 🙂

Best,
Sofia